Thursday, February 18, 2010

Baseball's Happy Lexicon

With apologies to Franklin Pierce Adams

This shortest of phrases makes our hearts soar
Pitchers and catchers report
With driveways unshoveled and lower backs sore
Pitchers and catchers report
Still bitter that this year the Yankees are kings
We yearn for the vengeance a new season brings
Like Hornsby we stare out the window for spring
Pitchers and catchers report

Four tiny words and hope’s candle’s lit
Pitchers and catchers report
Words shorter than Punto (who gets after it)
Pitchers and catchers report
A winter spent searching for MLB rumors
Praying that Bill Smith makes a big move or
signs our boy Joe. Can’t spring come any sooner?
Pitchers and catchers report

Sunday they’ll gather and Gardy will praise
Pitchers and catchers report
his cherry extract and Hardy’s slick plays
Pitcher and catchers report
Delmon will swing at a wormburning pitch
Justin will smile cuz the pitcher’s his bitch
While Nathan does something bizarre with his lips
Pitchers and catchers report

Finally you take your turn as poet
Pitchers and catchers report
Channel your winter frustration and show it
Pitchers and catchers report
The comments below are a great place to bleat
Two tens and three ‘levens provide you the beat
(But add words wherever, if like me you cheat)
Pitchers and catchers report

8 comments:

Jake said...

hope springs eternal! Go Twins Go!

Nealcp said...

Love it John! Wish I was gonna see you this year in Fort Myers! :)

Topper said...

Genius, John. Great poem!

Here you go:

"If Cisco ain't back, it will be tragic
Pitchers and catchers report
Cuddy will still provide us with magic
Pitchers and catchers repot
Killebrew smiles and signs autos for the crowd,
And man oh man Jim Thome's BP is loud.
I have a feeling these boys will make us proud,
Pitchers and catchers report."

Mike Boeve said...

Sun rays await at the new Target Field,
Pitchers and catchers report,
Let's hope the playoff losing is now healed,
Pitchers and catchers report,
I'm going to eat some fried walleye on a stick,
While the Twins over Cards in six is my pick,
And throw'n snowballs at Red Sox will be a kick,
Pitchers and catchers report

haasertime said...

My heart leaps with those words that I hear,
Pitchers and catchers report,
I check orbitz-dot-com while I cheer,
Pitchers and catchers report,
But as I find out I can't pay the airfare,
I spit out my SPAM-wich and scream, 'it's not fair!'
That for another year I won't be down where,
Pitchers and catchers report.

Anonymous said...

White and still cold, but not in our heart,
Pitchers and catchers report
Who can replace the naked old fart,
Pitchers and catchers report
The pieces seem to be in place,
After last season's taste,
Please tell me the staff's got an ace,
Pitchers and catchers report

Hudson at second pushes Punto to third,
Pitchers and catchers report
Gardy, again, gives Brandon Harris the bird,
Pitchers and catchers report
With GoGo a no-go and a redesigned logo,
Our new home field makes a pretty photo,
And we wonder, "where did the dome dog go?"
Pitchers and catchers report

How in the world do we improve Cuddy's UZR?
Pitchers and catchers report
Delmon on Jenny Craig seems kind of bizzarre,
Pitchers and catchers report
Pohlads finally opened up the checkbook,
Hey number 7, to the East please do not look,
Or Mark Rosen will cry in his breakfast nook,
Pitchers and catchers report

m-bro said...

Imagine this poem one year from today
Pitchers and catchers report
If, horror of horrors, our Joe goes away
Pitchers and catchers report
Our longing for spring shall be met with despair
And waves of regret make us tear out our hair
How can we go on, knowing Joe won't be there?
Pitchers and ??? report.

John said...

Awesome job gang! Thanks!