Saturday, February 18, 2012

Baseball's Happy Lexicon - 2012

This shortest of phrases makes our hearts soar
Pitchers and catchers report
We limped through last year but come back for more
Pitchers and catchers report
99 losses taught the boys things
We yearn for the clean slate a new season brings
Like Hornsby we stared out the window for spring
Pitchers and catchers report

Four tiny words and hope’s candle’s lit
Pitchers and catchers report
Gardy will make sure they get after it
Pitchers and catchers report
Smith was relieved and Ryan’s the man
He let Cuddy go but got Josh Willingham
We’ll hope that Capps moon shots don’t ruin his plan
Pitchers and catchers report

We love when they hustle and slide in the dirt
Pitchers and catchers report
But please Lord don’t let the boys end up hurt
Pitcher and catchers report
We’ll watch through our fingers when Frankie throws
Obsess on the nogginof Justin Morneau
And the Bilat’ral legs of our catcher Joe
Pitchers and catchers report

Finally you take your turn as poet
Pitchers and catchers report
Channel your winter frustration and show it
Pitchers and catchers reporthttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
The comments below are a great place to bleat
Two tens and three ‘levens provide you the beat
(But add words wherever, if like me you cheat)
Pitchers and catchers report

With apologies to Franklin Pierce Adams

7 comments:

John Gregory said...

Now do the one that ends "Mighty Nishi has struck out."

The Scruffy Rube said...

Out of our winter, hope springs anew
When pitchers and catchers report
Here comes the sunshine, there go the blues
As pitchers and catchers report
The skeptics and doubters don't understand,
I'll still be smiling, the haters be damned,
Four words and pure joy that go hand in hand:
"Pitchers and catchers report"

Anonymous said...

Twenty three mil' in a cavernous park
Pitchers and catchers report
Far, far too much for a clone of Will Clark
Pitchers and catchers report
Too many hurlers who cannot miss bats
Creativity lacked in resign of Capps
An on-field product prone to inducing naps
Pitchers and catchers report

Butera returns to claim more PAs
Pitchers and catchers report
Costing the club more runs than he'll save
Pitchers and catchers report
"He is a guy who can do things with the bat"
Gardy, all pros should be capable of that
But too many Twinkies cannot hit for crap
Pitchers and catchers report

The Twins' old GM does not excite me
Pitchers and catchers report
The Ryan hallmark is adequacy
Pitchers and catchers report
His teams of the aughts won weak divisions
His trading deadlines brought no big additions
He's the man who taught Smith to make decisions
Pitchers and catchers report

The payroll's tight and bigger than before
Pitchers and catchers report
Time to settle in for six months of bore
Pitchers and catchers report
The lack of new ideas is a disgrace
The team's spending money pursuing third place
The Twins won't even sniff the wild card race
Pitchers and catchers report

-Kyle

John said...

Kyle, I thinks hat counts as a sad lexicon. Mabe one about the Astros will pick you up. (ButI doubt it.)

spookymilk said...

The fair-weather fans are in midseason form
Pitchers and catchers report
Worry not, I’ll keep the bandwagon warm
Pitchers and catchers report
The Stribbies cry “Every decision is blech”
Take Shecky as gospel e’en when he writes dreck
Their heads must be thicker than Matt Capps’s neck
Pitchers and catchers report

The doomsayer cries out “100 more losses!”
Pitchers and catchers report
Rubbing their rabbit’s feet, kissing their crosses
Pitchers and catchers report
They whine, claiming Joe is too big for his britches
While blaming the players because they need stitches
I’m enjoying the game while the doomsayer bitches
Pitchers and catchers report

Believe me, I dislike the losses like you
Pitchers and catchers report
I’m just not sure mid-Feb’s the time to feel blue
Pitchers and catchers report
If you want crappy infielders, there’s a barrage
The relief corps smells worse than decaying fromage
‘Anonymous’ hangs himself in his garage
Pitchers and catchers report

I know ‘91 was a long time ago
Pitchers and catchers report
We all want a title; the answer is no
Pitchers and catchers report
The Pohlads shrug passively from up above
While the lineup has holes bigger than Nishi’s glove
See, I know these guys suck, but I still feel the love
Pitchers and catchers report

John said...

Awesome stuff so far gang.

Anonymous said...

Re: John, I'm pretty bullish on the Astros (so long as the view is of more than the 2012 season). If I had to put it in verse, it might go a little something like this...

Behold spring morning grass as it glistens
Pitchers and catchers report
And Brett Myers' girl, who just won't listen
Pitchers and catchers report
Lone gone the apathetic Drayton McLain
Taking his place, the AL-friendly Jim Crane
An organization finds direction again
Pitchers and catchers report

Wallace ambitiously oiling his glove
Pitchers and catchers report
Mejdal arriving to quantify love
Pitchers and catchers report
Though Wandy Rodriguez will be dealt in July
And most of us haven't heard of half these guys
Altuve is ready and willing to try
Pitchers and catchers report

One final season with Hamilton's voice
Pitchers and catchers report
Mills remains the managerial choice
Pitchers and catchers report
Snyder thankfully chasing Quintero away
Schafer and Martinez given the chance to play
Will either see 2013's Opening Day?
Pitchers and catchers report

Predicting quick improvement might be daft
Pitchers and catchers report
Luhnow will call the first name in the draft
Pitchers and catchers report
Relevance in the standings is seasons apart
With t'new brass' rebuilding off to a good start
It's enough to warm a long suffering heart
Pitchers and catchers report

-Kyle