Thursday, May 03, 2007

And now for something completely different....

3 things...

1. If you didn't read "What Joe Mauer Says During Mound Conversations", then stop, click and enjoy.

2. You would've found that story if you were stopping by everyday. Tom Genrich, one of the brothers who originally founded GameDay, is doing an outstanding job of keeping up with blogging posts from across the blogosphere and giving links there. Why wouldn't you let him do your legwork for you?

3. At GameDay, we're working on something a little extra this week which you may find in the programs starting next week. It's an insert sponwith the players pictures, vitals, and....

well, that was the problem. What else?

After kicking around ideas for about two-and-a-half minutes, we settled on a haiku about each player. I took a first pass at some of the players last night and I'll publish them below, but I'd like to encourage you to do a haiku about one of your favorite players. If we like it (and I know I have plenty of room for improvement on the ones below) we'll throw out mine and use yours. So show us your haiku chops...


Joe Nathan
Fastball and slider
Our closer snorts like horse
but always comes through.

Pat Neshek
Call him “Twitch-n-Pitch”
or “Sideshow Pat”. Either way,
he’s sure fun to watch.

Scott Baker
A brutal ‘06
Was his prospectdom lost?
Not yet. One more chance.

Boof Bonser
When he finds the plate,
double digit Ks result.
The Boof is on fire!

Jesse Crain
Right-handed cannon
Hastens sweet oblivion
During middle innings

Matt Garza
The Twins top prospect
Mows them down in Rochester
Just wait young Red Wing

Matt Guerrier
Three teams let him go
He found his Path to the Show
Twins found long relief

Francisco Liriano
Minnesotans knew
It was too darn good to last
Please god, make him whole.

Ramon Ortiz
Replaces Radke
Twins hope his new change-up helps
Keeps ball in ballpark

Glen Perkins
Southpaw ex-Gopher
May make starting rotation
in this year or next.

Sidney Ponson
Offseason gamble
makes Opening Day’s roster.
How long, we wonder?

Dennys Reyes
Last year he surprised
as a left-handed setup.
Another Eddie?

Juan Rincon
He owns the eighth frame
Vice-president of the best
bullpen in baseball.

Johan Santana
Two Cy Young awards.
He’s achieved one name status
‘Johan’ says it all.

Carlos Silva
Double-play artist
Without his power sinker
Needed to adjust.

Chris Heintz
When Gardenhire frets
that his catcher might get hurt
Chris gets to play here

Joe Mauer
We watch his sweet swing
And dream about the year when
he’ll chase .400

Mike Redmond
“Red Dog” backs up Joe
Teaches the team to “smell ‘em”
(RBIs. Not Joe).

Jason Bartlett
Exceptional range
Usually has no stick.
Here’s the exception.

Rick Anderson
Ortiz and Silva
Prove that Rick Anderson
is a god. Again.


Flamingo Jones said...

Oh man. I could write sports haiku all day. So much for getting anything else done today.

Jesse Crain
Crain is on the mound
has some trouble with the clutch
he's automatic

Jason Kubel
Kubel seems happy
playing left field, making hits
on knees that work now.

Justin Morneau
number thirty-three
thrilled us with his MVP
sings "Oh Canada"

I'll be back for more :)

Anonymous said...

Power doth corrupt
Thus Little Nicky remains
Pure as new spring snow

The Cannuck connects
Left hand flies off the handle
At long last thirty

Joe strokes one to left
On base four of ev'ry ten
Blogosphere worships

Ethereal ghost
Slider too good to be true
Liriano's gone

John said...

How does a speedster
With gold glove and pesky bat
Walk like an old man?

Kyle Eliason said...

Ramon Ortiz

The old doctor says
Wow. Who knew Andy could cure
This gopheritis?

Anonymous said...

Hit, run, catch and throw
Gymnastics are a bonus
Cuddyer Magic

Anonymous said...

I'm back with more....

Gardy manages
Tails battled off daily
Hats tipped each fall

Bravely stands Ulger
Sending troops to certain death
A rally buzzkilled

Foul tip, hurts real bad
Bloop in front of right fielder
Day game after night

Dick and Bert announce
Birthday calendar updates
"Calls" unrewarded

Reyes walks to mound
Cheeks packed with winter food stores
Or are those nat'rul?

John said...

Basepath adventures
He’s still a fan favorite

twayn said...

Joe Mauer

The sweetest of swings
Hits heaters and junk alike;
Joe’s average soars.

Justin Morneau

Reigning MVP
Introduces bat to ball.
Take off, you hoser.

Johan Santana

The Pride of the Twins
Makes your batters look foolish;
Your lineup cowers.

Mike said...

Jason Tyner

Gift of speed not strength
a pirranah taking bites
no need for homer

Anonymous said...

Torii Hunter (Important Trivia: In the Shinto religion, "Torii" are the Gates that represent the barrier between the human world and spiritual world. I'm just sayin')

The Gates of Shinto
Will drive you or cradle you
He hits and catches.