Southpaw Stuggles (Part 2)

OK, we GET it. Our boys struggle against left-handed pitchers. They have for years. We don’t need you guys to prove it to use. You can stop sucking now. Because, as we covered yesterday, our Twins, do, in fact, suck against left-handers. Like one of those nasty eel things that are invading Lake Superior. With big pointy teeth.

But as I mentioned yesterday, things should get better. And not just because the Twins shouldn’t be facing this many left-handed pitchers the rest of the year. The Twins should get better because this team has been hit by a perfect storm, and one that should pass blow over soon (though not as soon as we might have hoped).

Listen, any team whose two star hitters hit left-handed (and by “star” I mean Ursa Major kinda large, bringing home hardware and such) would probably struggle against left-handed pitching. But it’s not the guys that you would expect that are struggling against southpaws:

Joe Mauer is leading the team, for chrissakes, and Justin Morneau, while still relatively weak, is less than totally revolting. The biggest culprit right now is (right-handed hitting) Michael Cuddyer who is pasting right-handers (1.039 OPS!) but can’t hit lefties to save his life. He posted an 894 OPS against them last year, by the way.

Another Twins who would seem due for a rebound is Jason Bartlett. Bartlett and his groin are struggling across the board – southpaws, righties, fielding, probably sexually – but a right-handed hitter is going to finish better than that.

But most infuriating for Twins management is that they planned for this, but a string of injuries has absolutely decimated their ability to respond. You’ll notice Mike Redmond on that list, and while the number under “OPS” is bad, the number under “AB” is worse. Like Dante in Clerks, Mike wasn’t even supposed to BE here today. He’s only playing because the two guys who were supposed to hold down the job – Rondell White and Jeff Cirillo – are both injured.

And it’s not like just one of them could help. Because there is another name that you would expect to see at that bottom of this list, and he hasn’t disappointed. That’s Nick Punto, who has never hit left-handed pitchers. Cirillo was specifically signed this offseason because he can play third base and past left-handers, and that’s awfully handy when Punto is on a roster.

Even more frustrating is that the Twins also worked hard in the offseason to provide additional insurance for those guys – and that’s not working out either. Before either White or Cirillo one was signed, Ken Harvey was signed. He’s a former all-star (which unfortunately says loads about that particular title), who nonetheless can be a fairly suitable DH in a pinch, especially against left-handers. He’s out until mid-May with knee surgery.

And you might also remember a certain lovable chicken-fried-steak poster boy who was in spring training. Matt LeCroy didn’t do much in his major league career, like, for instance, catch things that weren’t chocolate-covered. But he always hit left-handed pitching, and he hit it awfully hard. He’s got to be kicking himself right now, because this is maybe the worst possible time to be hitting .186 in Rochester.

So let’s count up the carnage, shall we? Two solid right-handed hitters who suddenly are slumping, plus two right-handed hitters who are injured, plus two right-handed replacements in Rochester who are unavailable. That’s some solid work just as the team is facing a left-handed pitcher pretty much every other night.

The good news is that the first impression will likely stay with us long past the actual reality. The Twins aren’t going to thrive against left-handers, but they also aren’t going to be this bad for most of the rest of the year.